Thursday, November 1, 2012

#NHBPM Day 1: Why I Write About My Health

Okay so I'm not some super awesome blogger out there. I'm just not. I read various blogs out there and they are actually super awesome. I hesitated to attempt this challenge but decided why I am going to participate beginning today in the Wego Health National Health Blog Post Month. challenge for November as a means to challenge myself AND perhaps find a low key means to support November being Diabetes Awareness Month. Each day, I am supposed to write about a topic as outlined from NHBPM so here goes with today's question: Why do I write about my health?

When Alex was diagnosed with Type 1 diabetes last year on December 20, 2011, I felt stunned and utterly fearful. When I am scared and frustrated I tend to babble over and over again to the same people. Repeating events in my head helps me sort through my thoughts and figure out a way to get through a problem. Alas, this particular problem isn't easy to sort through and just move on from. Writing out my feelings has helped me annoy my friends and family less AND allows me to truly sort out my emotions and form cohesive thoughts that might lead to something productive out of my fears, frustrations, anger, and even excitement or happiness that comes with the road we have traveled now for 10 months.

So I write about Alex's health...this is true. But it isn't just her health. Writing about her health and reflecting on what it takes to maintain her health has led me to reflect on MY health in the process. Who am I today? Who do I want to be today? I want to be a mother who can hike with her children in the beautiful pines of northern Arizona without wondering if it's doable because of my lack of endurance. I want to be the mother who teachers her children that food is not a comfort zone. Sugar is not a cure for stress and anger. I want to be a mother who doesn't feel judged when I tell someone my daughter has diabetes because these days when I tell someone who doesn't know us, they make assumptions about Alex having diabetes because of MY weight. I want to be a woman who looks in a mirror and feels good about what she sees. I want to be a woman who can shop at any clothing store I desire to shop at. I want to be a woman who sees herself as a healthy person.

Writing about my journey to become healthy and Alex's journey to live with diabetes helps me to own up to what I need to be doing to keep my goals in check. Has it helped? I think so - Alex's A1C is the lowest it's ever been and she has grown leaps and bounds in her self care. I have lost almost 30 pounds and am seeing the results of a lot of hard work (with lots more hard work to go).

This is why I write and will continue to write. I write for me. I write for Alex.

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