Tuesday, October 30, 2012

Falling into Place

Where does the time go? Tomorrow is Halloween and I still feel like summer is just ending. Of course, living in Arizona gives you a skewed view of "fall" when it's 90 degrees still for a high on October 30th.

It's been an odd month or so full of highs and lows. As we press forward to Alex's "diaversary" I find myself becoming anxious and just unsettled. Have we really been at this for 10 months? How is that even possible? My mind can't help but think back to last year at this time when she was becoming more and more irritable, losing weight, and just not acting "right". I think about all the missed signs and though everyone tells me not to feel guilty, I can't help but feel that way. I'm trying really hard to say to myself out loud (when no one is around to hear me and think I'm a wacko) that I need to remember the advice of a friend - this "diaversary" marks the day my daughter's life was saved. Keep that in focus. Keep busy. Don't play the crazy what if circle games that lead me down the path of insanity and depression.

On that note, I have been keeping busy. There have been many highlights.

We managed to pull off a successful Step Out to Stop Diabetes walk campaign. 

We raised around $1600 for the American Diabetes Association as the "We Walk for Alex" team!

Alex received a special medal awarded for being a Champion to Stop Diabetes!

We walked and cheered and had a lot of fun dressing up for the event. Alex received a great deal of support from friends and family.

All in all it was a successful event and I'm proud of our efforts especially having never done any sort of walk fundraiser ever in life.  We raised a lot of money for a good cause. We managed to meet the goal of getting Alex early bird registration for Camp AZDA next summer and a $160 credit off of summer camp (chosen in lieu of walk gifts offered).

Alex attending a FREE weekend diabetes camp through JDRF/Camp Soaring Eagle!

This was a most pleasant surprise (to us) offering that came up! I was attending a local support group party and a mom mentioned this wonderful group known as Camp Soaring Eagle that provides various camp experiences for children with all sorts of medical conditions. They offer weekend camp experiences a few times a year for kids with diabetes in conjunction with JDRF and the camp is COMPLETELY free of charge! The camps are staffed with all the necessary medical staff and supplies. Space is limited and applications are accepted first come first serve so I didn't think we stood a chance as we heard about it several weeks after the applications were released. But we gave it a try and there was space available. Alex got to go up north with 19 other campers and enjoy a cool weekend at a ranch. They fished. The rode horses. They played games and had a dance. They did some diabetes education activities. 

I'm so very grateful to JDRF and Camp Soaring Eagle for offering this. I'm sad the JDRF and ADA walks were within a month of one another. I would have loved to have done walks for both groups but it was impossible for me to ask friends and family to donate to two different walks so close together and coordinate the events. So, I'll be putting on my thinking camp for spring to see what we can do to show our support for these groups while in the meantime, I've make sure to buy my little paper JDRF shoes from stores selling them when asked; sharing their events for fundraising with friends and family on Facebook, etc. and whatever else I can think of. 

I've been sticking to my healthy food and exercise plan!

So I've lost close to 30 pounds since I started this new journey of health. I feel much better. I'm less tired and more motivated. I have more energy. I feel better about myself. I feel like I'm helping to teach my daughter to make better choices for her long term health. I won't lie. It isn't easy. I don't always do everything perfectly. But I recognize that this is a MUST DO. People ask me what diet  I am following. The answer is I'm not. I've tried many diets. I've always failed. My goals are to a) keep my daily caloric intake around 1200 calories; b) limit/exclude foods high in carbohydrates and/or made with white flour, excess sugar; caffeine; and c) exercise daily including a 20 minute walk/jog each morning after I put the kids on the bus. It's been an interesting journey! I went camping a few weekends ago with the boy scout adult leaders on a committee retreat and it was a wonderful experience. Last fall, I camped with the boy scouts and I was so frustrated with myself because when the boys went on a hike I couldn't keep up. I was sweating and out of breath and keeping them from going at the pace they wanted to go. THIS time I hiked at the same pace as everyone else and I wasn't fearful of the difficulty of the trail. All my exercising has paid off. I saw some gorgeous sites along the Mogollon Rim in Northern Arizona. I had to go shopping for new pants that are 3 sizes smaller. 

Now here is the part where I lecture myself publicly...I've been at a "stalemate" for about 2 weeks. I'm not falling off the wagon. I'm walking/jogging as much as ever. I am making better food choices. What I'm NOT doing is logging my food and eating out more than I need to be eating out. It's hard when there have been lots of company visiting from out of town and fall parties/events to attend. I'm not making bad choices when eating out but it's just hard to stick to low calorie meals when eating out. Don't you love restaurants "light fare" menus - light fare are meals under 700 calories! That's crazy. I would define light fare as under 300 calories! So I haven't gained any weight! I'm just not losing. It's going to be challenging to lose weight with the holidays. But this is a MUST. I want to be out of the "obese" category by the end of January. That is 20 pounds...I can do it if I go back to hardcore logging of food and keep my hand out of the candy corn bag that's in the pantry leftover from a Halloween party. Throw.It.Away.

Anyway that's my life in a nutshell. Pressing forward. Trying to push the thoughts of our one year mark out of my head as much as possible. 

1 comment:

  1. Wow, congrats on the Step Out Walk, great job fundraising! We might try the Step Out Walk next year, gotta love that camp credit! Kortnie's D-aversary is next week, 3 years, I always have a hard time with it, the memories are sad. This year has been my hardest. My son is 5, just started Kindergarten, his birthday is in June, same month as Kortnie. She was 5 and had just started Kindergarten when diagnosed the week after Halloween. I am making myself crazy thinking he's gonna get D too....weird, irrational,and totally unfounded, but I can't shake it. Looking at him right now as I type this and he's healthy and happy, not too skinny and not wetting the bed unexpectedly so I know in my head that he is not getting D, at least not right now, but I still am on edge. I'm a whacko too!