I admit it - I'm a creature of habit. Sometimes that serves me really well...like being the person that's always prepared. When it comes to diabetes, I have a system down - I have an organized cabinet of supplies. I have a cooler/carry out bag always ready and packed to go out. I have her medication on a good system for refill ordering. I have backup low blood sugar snacks most everywhere we might need them. It's working and it took a while to get here. Giving shots has suprisingly become "easy". It doesn't mean I like it. It doesn't mean she likes it. But I can whip out a vial and syringe and get it done rather quickly and discreetly now. If you would have asked me to do that a few months ago, I would have melted down.
Today I am nervous...we are putting our feet in the water and trialing an insulin pump. I can't find one person who has told me that pumping was the worst thing they ever did. Quite the opposite, everyone tells me how wonderful it is for their child. The concept does indeed seem inviting - no more shots all the time! If she wants seconds at the dinner table, it isn't a conflict of whether she is willing to take a second shot. If we're at a birthday party, a shot isn't taking away from enjoying her birthday cake with the rest of the crowd.
But...I'm nervous...just the same. Because I like being a creature of habit. I have shots down. I HATE math and it has taken a lot to get here. And now they are going to be introducing more strange words to me and more calculations (but at least from what I understand maybe a pump doing the math for me might make life better). And I'm nervous for Alex who is being brave but is scared of inserting the pump and has said so several times already this morning.
We'll be okay - I'm confident of that. But I'll feel better once we get through this unknown icky part of the morning...more later...