Friday, February 3, 2012

So Sick of Being Sick

Alex just can't catch a break. I feel like the chronic whiner but I am just so sick of her being sick! She has not attended a full week of school since the beginning of December. She has visited a doctor's office at least once per week since being discharged from the hospital 5 weeks ago. Enough already!

Is this normal or what? Because I'm ready to withdraw the kid from school and enroll her in online school. She might get more done. But I'd probably lose my mind too. Selfishly, that little break school gives me is well needed.

Alex came home from the hospital and within the week had an ear and sinus infection. We have had like 2 days off between complaints of something or another since that time...first her foot hurt - big toe and ankle joints. Then she couldn't raise her arm because it hurt under her arm. The pediatrician ordered a ton of blood work. Everything came up in the normal range except her A1C (11.6%) and her lymphocytes were 48% and the normal range went up to 45%. She had no signs of juvenile arthritis which was what we were wondering about thankfully. 3 days after all that blood work she complained of ear pain and sure enough she had another ear infection. She was given another antibiotic. She said her ear felt better but she has complained of feeling itchy off and on this past week and she just looks pale. She finished the medicine Wednesday morning and by Wednesday evening she was hoarse and complaining her throat was sore.

We have the spent the last 3 days with her complaining her throat hurts more and more. She has no tonsils  and it's hard to see anything back there.Besides, she's been on an antibiotic so how could she have strep? Finally today I dragged her back to the pediatrician. He said she still seemed to be fighting a sinus infection and there is some fluid still in her ear. So now we are home with yet another round of antibiotics.

The thing is it sucks when you're sick as it is. But this whole diabetes thing really screws with dealing with your normal sick stuff. The night before last I was getting up every couple hours poking her with the blood glucose meter and feeding her fruit chews. We woke up feeling like a bus hit us. Then the next night I'm correcting her for being up in the high 200s. This morning she woke up at 254 and small ketones. I'm beat. I feel like as soon as I figure out how to manage something, I learn that I can't manage anything. I have always been the confident mom when it came to dealing with illness. Now I'm freaked at everything and panicking that I'll miss something...and she'll end up in DKA again. Because even though everyone keeps telling me it's not my fault I can't help but feel like it is my fault. I should have taken her in before she ended up needing the ICU. I think back to the ICU and I want to throw up and go hyperventilate somewhere.

I just want her to be healthy again. I want her to be in school for a full week. I want to not be getting up every few hours and not really sleeping in between at night because I'm scared to death I'll miss something and find her dead. Every time I think I can relax just a little and have a new normal filled with blood tests and shots and the like...she is sick. And it's more than just shots and blood tests. And isn't like 6-8 blood tests and 5-6 shots a day enough to handle? I think so. So please...whatever these illness germs are...please please go away for good. At least for a few months. Cut us all some slack here. Whatever this is supposed to be teaching me, I'm obviously too stupid and too tired to learn it.

1 comment:

  1. I'm so sorry you guys are dealing with this. It's a lot to deal with, especially all lumped together.

    An A1c of 11.6% indicates her BG's are above target range more often than not. This is to be expected, considering that she was only recently diagnosed. It may take several months to see a substantial decrease in her A1c.

    High blood sugar impairs the body's natural immunity, thereby causing increased susceptibility to illness and infection. Once illness/infection sets in, blood sugars elevate -- it becomes a vicious cycle.

    I'm sure you're working closely with her endo team to find the right doses of insulin to fit her needs. If you can get her numbers between 100 - 200 most of the time (including overnight), perhaps her immune system won't be as taxed. It's just my theory, of course.

    As for school, I would definitely contact them to figure out the best course of action. Obviously you don't want her to fall behind, but you also don't want to keep dealing with so many infections. Ugh. It's like being stuck between a rock and a hard place.

    I'll say a prayer for you guys.

    Keep swimming. Just keep swimming.