I just need to vent for a few minutes...
I picked up the mail last night and there was the pretty colorful brochure from Girl Scouts about early registration for summer camp 2012. And I wanted to throw it in the trash but I couldn't.
Last summer Alex went to girl scout camp with her cousin up in Prescott. They had an awesome time together and came home with so many memories. They dreamed of growing up and starting a farm to raise horses. They begged us to sign them up for camp again next summer only this time pick the pony camp where they can take care of a horse all week long every day. We tried to sign them up for that last summer but the camp filled before we registered the girls. So my sister and I vowed to be on top of things this year and sign them up the first day of registration. Alex has talked about going to this camp ever since she came home last June. And I have encouraged it. Maybe now you understand why I want to tear of the f-ing brochure.
You see I went online and read about girl scout camp and their small paragraph on girls with special needs and special diets. And I knew after the first few sentences there was no way I was sending my girl to girl scout camp this year. There is a nurse for the entire camp. She is not necessarily specifically trained in diabetes. The camp counselors are typically college age girls working a summer job and they don't sleep in the cabin with the girls. Case closed. Alex won't go to girl scout camp. Too many things could happen. She isn't even giving herself her own blood tests yet. I can't send her to a camp that has no obvious skill in caring for a newly diagnosed diabetic kid and pray to God she doesn't get a low in the cabin with only 9 other 9 year old girls sleeping there. I can't trust someone won't give her some high carb snack and not realize she needs an insulin shot for it. I can't risk them not realizing she needs a blood test before swimming or any other physical activity which is what camp is all about.
So...I'm grateful for this whole diabetes summer camp that I fully intend to send Alex to in June. You bet I am registering her on day one. It may cost 3 times what girl scout camp costs and I may have to charge it on a credit card but she is going. They do have horses there. It ironically is next to the girl scout camp up in Prescott. I know it will be an awesome experience for her in so many ways.
But I'm still pissed off. Because I want to send my kid to pony camp like I planned to. I want to make good on my promise. But I can't. And I'm sure she'll hate me for that too. Maybe not long term. But I'm sure she'll hate me for it when we have to tell her she isn't going. Yes Alex, won't it be SO MUCH FUN to learn to give yourself a shot instead of riding horses with your cousin? It will be JUST AWESOME!!!!! I hate myself for it too.